


please don't say i'm going alone

by ASCELLAS



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward Spoilers, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Post-Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26669938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASCELLAS/pseuds/ASCELLAS
Summary: She took a moment to herself before turning to run back towards Estinien. Her knees hit the cobble as she pried off his helmet and tossed it to the side. Elowen cradled his face, resisting all temptation to try and shake him awake.“Estinien.” Elowen pleaded as fresh tears ran down her face, “Please, you stupid bastard. Still be in there.”
Relationships: Warrior of Light & Estinien Wyrmblood
Kudos: 8





	please don't say i'm going alone

**Author's Note:**

> ty to my best pal (whose wol is also in this) for beta'ing this work. my wol and estinien are Peak wlw/mlm solidarity. 
> 
> pics of my wol and her twin B) https://twitter.com/sjureidos/status/1308287065218375682?s=21

The last few months had been agonizing for Elowen. Being the Warrior of Light began to take its toll on the young miqo’te. Having to watch those she came to love and care for die chipped away at her heart each day. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to carry on when her heart felt so heavy. War always ended in casualties, but it was unfair when those casualties were good, honest people.

They took on Thordan and Elowen prayed this was the end. It was naive to think that the battle could be so easily won. She watched in horror as Nidhogg took over her dearest friend. Her brother held her back as her screams ripped through the air, as she begged for Estinien to come back. Elowen fell to the floor in sobbing as her cries for Estinien continued. The warrior tried to fight her brother as he picked her up off the floor. Exhaustion soon took over her shortly after.

That broke her. It broke Elowen in a way that everyone around her wasn’t expecting. Most carried their grief with tears, but she turned to anger and recklessness. She was playing a dangerous game. The days that weren’t spent preparing for the inevitable return of Nidhogg, Elowen usually wasn’t to be seen. She would return at late hours, bloody and bruised. Her own brother struggled to get anything out of her. Only to receive replies that she was fine. She said she was dealing with it when it was clear she wasn’t. Her brother didn’t claim to understand Estinien’s unlikely friendship with his sister. Especially now, he didn’t realize how much he meant to her.

Sehve’a had had enough when she didn’t return one night.

It was in the late morning and no one had seen Elowen at all that day. They had all expressed their worry for her safety when into the afternoon, and there was still no sign of her. Hilda and Alphinaud decided then to set up a small group and search for her.

Elowen’s brother knew the kind of person that she was. Elowen was never one to handle her emotions very well. All of the death that had hit both of them hard these past months. Elowen listened to Sehve’a, helped him, but brushed off that same support in return. Her brother only hoped that she was at least talking to someone about it. But the truth was Elowen didn’t want to talk about it. Her true emotions were shown through her fighting, raw, aggressive, and terrifying. There was little regard for herself. Elowen had become reckless.

This wasn’t the first time she had gotten like this, and her brother knew it wouldn’t be the last. Sehve’a couldn’t sit still and feared the worst had happened to Elowen. It worried him when he couldn’t be there to protect her. So he did the only thing he could do, which was pace back and forth till the search party returned.

The hours passed until the group finally trotted through the doors of the Manor. Hilda was cradling an unconscious Elowen, swaddled in a blanket. It was clear how battered and bruised the miqo’te was. Sehve’a had Hilda carry Elowen up to her room and he let everyone know that he would handle it from here. He only allowed Hilda, Alphinaud, and Tataru to come help, forcing everyone else to wait downstairs.

Worry laced all of their faces when they saw the extent of Elowen’s injuries; her lip was cut, her eye bloody, and various bruises and bloody cuts were scattered across her dark skin. Hilda gently held Elowen’s hand and inspected it, it was broken, as she had feared. Sehve’a sighed knowing that he had his work cut in for him. At least Alphinaud would be there to help him heal through the worst of it.

Repairing Elowen’s broken form was grueling work and the rest of the day slowly ticked by. Finally once they felt they did all they could, Sehve’a pulled away as he tried not to let the exhaustion seep into his bones. He loved his sister dearly, but Gods if he did not want to kill her sometimes. Alphinaud helped him out of the room to let Tataru take over the first shift of watching over Elowen and he told Sehve’a to get some rest.

Thankfully, Elowen arose early the next morning. Sehve’a had taken the night shift. He was curled up next to her sleeping soundly. She looked at him with fondness before kicking his legs. Her brother woke as he bolted up looking worried, he was instantly relieved to see her awake.

Elowen looked awful. Her eye was swollen shut and her cut lip bruised. Sehve’a had had to bandage two of her fingers together. She could already feel the pain from the rest of the bruises and cuts across her body. Her brother sat up to help her rest against the headboard. He could tell she was trying to look elsewhere to avoid talking.

“What happened?” He asked.

“Nothing. Just fell down is all.” She very clearly lied.

“I’m not doing this. Please be honest with me.” Sehve’a pleaded, “You’ve had me worried sick these past two days.”

Elowen huffed at him as she tried to ignore the rushing wave of guilt coming over her. It really wasn’t her intention to worry anyone. Things just got out of hand and her heart hurt too much to care about that.

“I got drunk,” She started off sheepishly, glancing down at her shattered hand “I just wanted to take my mind off everything. My dumbass thought I could go into a dungeon alone. So I did. I got loud and cocky, you know me. Before I knew it, there was an entire mob of enemies coming after me. Thought I could take them in the state I was in. Clearly I couldn’t and got mangled pretty badly. The only thing I remember after that is collapsing down in the snow…”

Elowen trailed off for a moment. Opening up was never easy for her. Especially when it concerned about the topic of losing people she loved. The guilt bubbled up again, she knew Sehve’a lost the same people and the one he loved. Sehve’a looked at her as he waited for her to go on.

“When I was in the snow, I thought about how I would be fine with dying. The Twelve could have taken me then and there, and I was okay with that.” She finished off meekly.

Sehve’a could tell she wanted to say more, but sensed the overwhelming emotion she was feeling. Elowen leaned against her brother as he put an arm around her. She couldn’t help it as tears started flowing from her good eye. Sehve’a held onto her tightly as she sobbed. Her battered hands clutched his shirt tightly.

“I miss him so much. I don’t want to be in a world where my best friend isn’t. I know that’s selfish when I have you and the others. But, I need him. Especially after losing Haurchefant and Ysayle. I can’t lose him too.” She told him between the sobs.

“I know. I know. I promise we’ll do everything we can to get him back. Hopefully the Twelve will smile upon us and grant us that. Just please don’t go off and do that again. We can’t lose each other.” Sehve’a told her.

Elowen looked up at him with her blurry vision before crying more. He held her as her pent up emotions rushed out. Sehve’a could only pray to the Gods above that this could start Elown on a road to recovery.

\---

Elowen tried with all her might to wrest Nidhogg’s eyes off Estinien’s armor. They were so close. She would be damned if she was going to give up the fight right now. Peace washed over her as Sehve’a, the warming presence of Haurchefant and Ysayle, and Alphinaud successfully pried the eyes off from the armor. She bolted from where she was to throw the eye over the edge. Elowen didn’t feel the tears running down her face as the group watched the eyes plummet into the abyss.

She took a moment to herself before turning to run back towards Estinien. Her knees hit the cobble as she pried off his helmet and tossed it to the side. Elowen cradled his face, resisting all temptation to try and shake him awake.

“Estinien.” Elowen pleaded as fresh tears ran down her face, “Please, you stupid bastard. Still be in there.”

She rested her head against his chest piece and wrapped her arms around him as best she could. He was breathing, which she took as a good sign. After a few minutes had passed, she felt a hand on her shoulder. The miqo’te looked back to see who it was. Aymeric gave her a soft smile to let her know that he would take care of the fallen Dragoon. Elowen reluctantly pulled away from Estinien, falling against her brother. She wanted to go with him, but she could feel the exhaustion overtaking her body. Aymeric picked Estinien up as he ordered a room and healers to be ready for them.

Next thing she knew was waking up in an unfamiliar bed. Her tattered and bloody armor laid next to the bed. She had a fresh pair of clothing on the chair. Estinien’s old jacket she had stolen months ago was draped over the chair. She eagerly slipped it on to find a small bit of comfort. Y’shtola looked over from her perch on a desk, glad to see that Elowen was finally awake. The warrior sat up and rubbed her eyes. She still felt the exhaustion of the battle.

“How long did I sleep for?” She asked.

“Almost a full day. Your brother is in his own room resting,” Y’shtola informed her, “Estinien is progressing well.”

Elowen relaxed when she was told her twin was fine. She threw off the blanket and grabbed the clothing to change. Y’shtola knew there was no point in stopping her from seeing the others. Elowen discarded the old clothing on the floor and tied her hair up in a messy bun before departing from the room. As much as she wanted to go see Estinien, Elowen needed to see her brother first. It was easy enough to find his room as she barged in. He was still sleeping. Elowen ran over to jump on the bed which roused him from his sleep.

“Elowen.” He groaned out, “What?”

“I’m just making sure you’re okay, you dolt. ‘M going to go downstairs to check on everything so get dressed. I’ll be outside the door.” She told him before dashing out.

It only took a few moments for him to get dressed and meet her. The twins headed downstairs to see Aymeric and Lucia in the middle of a discussion. The Lord warmly greeted them both, informing them of Estinien’s condition. Sehve’a inquired to Alphinaud’s whereabouts, finding that he was at the dragoon’s bedside. Elowen began to feel okay for the first time in a while. She was grateful that Estinien had people to watch over him.

The group fell into a comfortable silence. Aymeric was about to speak up until a knight came rushing into the room. Alphinaud had sent for them. All he said it was something concerning the dragoon. Alarmed, the group rushed towards Estiniens room. Elowen feared the worst as they saw Alphinaud crying at his bedside.

Estinien slightly lifted his head up to look at his guests. A handful of emotions rushed within Elowen at once. He looked over at her and smiled. The others were expecting the best friends to have a tearful, happy reunion. But Estinien knew that look on Elowen’s face all too well as he sat up to brace himself for her impact. She charged at him as everyone reached out to grab her but she was too fast.

Elowen tackled him over which caused him to fall back down with a loud groan. Her legs stayed on the sides of his waist as she wailed roughly on his chest. Estinien let her continue, not seeming to mind her fury. She grabbed his shirt to pull him up and started sobbing. Lucia made a move to try and quell the situation before Sehve’a motioned at her not too.

“You absolute fucking asshole. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Elowen loudly cussed between sobs, “You’re a real piece of shit. You’re dumb and reckless. You abandoned me! I thought I lost you. Gods, I thought you were gone. You left me! You left me...”

Sehve’a figured at this point it was time to give them their privacy since the others looked rather terrified at his sisters' outburst. He quietly ushered them out, though slightly worried Elowen might kill Estinien herself. The door closed, giving the two of them the time that they needed.

After her initial burst of fury, Elowen slumped down against the Elezen to rest her head on his chest. Once he knew it was safe, Estinien wrapped his arms around her. He didn’t dare say a word until her sobs had subsided. It took awhile until she calmed down, but eventually Elowen’s loud purring let him know that she was finally relaxed. He ran a hand through some of her hair that had fallen loose.

“Please forgive me.” He pleaded quietly.

“You know I already do.” Elowen replied, “I would apologize for tackling you but it would be a lie.”

Estinien let out a soft laugh. They had known each other for years and he expected those kinds of reactions from her at this point. Their friendship was unlikely, but they seemed to fit so well together. They understood each other in ways others couldn’t. It was one of the reasons why they became inseperable.

“I’m serious. Don’t ever do that again.” She threatened, “Losing Haurchefant and Ysayle was hard enough. I couldn’t breathe when I thought you were gone too. I did a lot of reckless and horrible things because I thought I had lost you. It’s not an excuse but, I couldn’t figure out a way to live without you.”

“You have my word that it will not happen again. I’m sorry to have put you through such an emotional time. You know I would never leave you willingly.” Estinien told her, “The Twelve know I certainly don’t want to face your wrath ever again.”

Elowen bit at his exposed neck for his jab. He let out a grunt of dissatisfaction. Estinien hoped that she would eventually grow out of the horrible habit, but he shouldn’t have expected anything less. Elowen rolled off his chest to snuggle her small frame against his body, she curled up in a ball and dug her face in his side. He placed his free arm around her. For now she was content with his words, just happy that he was beside her.

“I plan to retire once I am free from this bed.” He said.

Elowen moved her head up to look at him. She gently patted his side before purring against him again. If anyone deserved that, it was Estinien. Elowen had known the horrors of his life.

“Couldn’t decide that a little sooner, huh?” She jabbed at him.

“You know I enjoy the occasional flare of dramatics.” Estinien told her.

Elowen laughed and rested her head against his chest. Her tail flicked happily side to side as she took the time to soak in his presence. He toyed with the collar of her jacket, rather his jacket. Estinien shrugged off the urge to scoff at her for stealing his property like she always did.

“We’re going to have to set up some rules if you’re planning a whole find yourself journey.” Elowen said.

“I would not expect anything less.” He replied with a laugh, “That’s my favorite coat. Am I going to get that back for my journey?”

“After what you put me through? No.” She replied grumpily, “Now be quiet.”

Estinien listened to her, knowing better than to give her any kind of rebuttal back. A comfortable silence fell over them, which caused Elowen to fall back into the lull of sleep. Estinien’s thumb stroked her shoulder as he relaxed himself. It didn’t take long for him to join her in rest. At least for now, things would be okay.


End file.
